Four days w/out a post. Gotta stoke this thread.
Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives...They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas...The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather...Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders...You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars...Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials...You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores...Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds...They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara...They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn...They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms...You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps...Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots...All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Beer vs. Vagina
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a
scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife
may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point
to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal
circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in
one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If
you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is
fun. One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One
point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle
or a can. One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner,ale,lager,etc One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
drink it One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER
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Originally Posted by skatha
Yeah, I remember when I was married. We had sex ALL the time! Several times a week! Ha Ha Ha!
