OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[bartron]

I guess what caught my eye was when you said you don't have a snowball's chance in Hell.

My quote is based on my experiences here. The right woman is probably around here somewhere, I've honestly believed that for many, many years, it's just a question of finding her. After trying just about everything and looked just about everywhere in this town, it seems like it will be about as probable as finding extraterrestrial life somewhere in the universe -- it's possible, but it will probably take forever. After a while, I have to realize that my time would be better spent searching in a town with a greater number of people who come closer to what I'm looking for.

My point is, a person looking for an avid snowboarder would be better off looking in Jay, Vermont than Miami, Florida.

Starting from that you will never find someone.

Actually, I'm ending with that, not starting with it. But I do agree with you, starting out believing you will fail will usually lead to failure.

Are you in Alberta? Not prying just trying to present an alternative view.

I'm in Montreal, Quebec. I only mentioned Alberta because I was still thinking of that South Park episode I saw last night where the kids trying to save the baby cows. It reminded me of the K.D. Lang/Alberta thing that happened years ago. I never claimed to be good at analogies. Don't worry, you're not prying at all.

They are out there in every community and neighborhood. You are what you believe. Kind of the Hundredth monkey thing. 'Cause wherever you are there is someone who could be your partner who is probably equally disgruntled with the state of 'dating' these days. Yet if you both shift a tiny bit you may be able to see each other. As it is you are on opposite sides of the same tree without a clear view of the other side.

Enough rambling for today. There is someone for you - and Michelle too.

I agree with principle, but not the scope. I think there is a minimum scope size, below which the principle would be false. In short, I don't think it applies to any town. At least, that's the way I see it. Fortunately, I love travelling.


'later...

[ncermak]

I'm gonna have to go with this..Montreal. Big citys. 50% women (by Biology) probably pretty close in reality. she's gotta be there some where... Keep the faith Brother. Ms. Right will come along...

[bartron]

Are you in Alberta?

Ooops. I thought my town was showing up in the upper righthand corner of my posts. Sorry. It's fixed now.


'later...

[D-Sub]

god it seems hard to believe that there arent plenty of beautiful, smart, sensible women in MONTREAL!

head west to Van, then. I couldnt believe my eyes when I was there.

couldnt get any to talk to me, really...seem to have lost that skill, but there sure were some purdy ones!

[skipuppy]

I'm gonna have to go with this..Montreal. Big citys. 50% women (by Biology) probably pretty close in reality. she's gotta be there some where... Keep the faith Brother. Ms. Right will come along...

At least its better than trying to find someone in Vermont. We have trees though. And if you like cows......

[carvedog]

AND I love CarveDog's approach to it all, except I'm still not looking. I just hear it from everyone around me, plus I was there once. I don't agree that there's someone for everyone in life.

Just so you know - I have been blindsided by Love ( sorry for the L word but it's true ), three different times. The most spectacularly by my now wife when I was pointedly not looking. The other two times I was too selfish and immature too appreciate the relationship and the girl involved.


Not that I am not selfish and immature now, but I do appreciate my wife. In the time we have been together I have learned ( and this hurts): I am not perfect. And pick your battles. Rarely do things seem as important later on as they do at that particular time. The last thing is when you disagree with your partner and are verbally sparring, you can respond with a comment that escalates the disagreement or that doesn't. Escalation is always wrong. Even when you are self-righteously correct you are still wrong.

For those of you who just tuned in I am lecturing myself at this point and feel free to disregard as mindless drivel.

[carvedog]

couldnt get any to talk to me, really...seem to have lost that skill, but there sure were some purdy ones!

Purdy is as purdy does.

I would rather snowboard with a very "plain" girl, than dance disco with a "hottie".

Good lord I have to get some work done.

[Allee]

I can recommend Calgary. Great snow, great people, and according to my other half, the girls here are pretty good too.

[Neil Gendzwill]

god it seems hard to believe that there arent plenty of beautiful, smart, sensible women in MONTREAL!

Just speaking as someone who's been a tourist there, the sheer volume of eye candy in downtown Montreal on any given night is astounding. Maybe none of them are right for a relationship, but there sure are some hot ones.

I've got to say that if you think you have to move from a city the size of Montreal to find a girl, that maybe you have to turn that criticism inward.

[Dave Pushee]

Damn, I'm always forgetting them.

I just happened to notice that this thread was a year old yesterday.

[bartron]

...And pick your battles. Rarely do things seem as important later on as they do at that particular time. The last thing is when you disagree with your partner and are verbally sparring, you can respond with a comment that escalates the disagreement or that doesn't. Escalation is always wrong. Even when you are self-righteously correct you are still wrong.

Those are very wise words that apply to any relationship, including those with co-workers, friends and family.

In my experience, the one about future importance is a bit tricky to handle, since it's usually difficult to convince the other person that the issue won't be important in the future. And I'm not talking just about kids either...

'later...

[bartron]

Purdy is as purdy does.

I would rather snowboard with a very "plain" girl, than dance disco with a "hottie".

Damn straight ! Interesting note: all my male friends and I feel the same way as you, but all my female friends think guys would prefer the disco hottie. That's gotta be the media's fault !

'later...

[bartron]

I can recommend Calgary. Great snow, great people, and according to my other half, the girls here are pretty good too.

I was planning on going there last fall. I had mapped out this trip where I would spend a few days in Calgary, drive down through Montana (Missoula, Butte), across to Idaho (Boise, Coeur d'Alene) and back to Calgary. The entire trip would take just over a week. I figured it would be really beautiful in the fall.

But by the end of summer, I was so tired from work I opted (with the help of some persuasive dive buddies) for an all-inclusive SCUBA trip on a boat in the Bahamas.

I'm hoping to go to Calgary around the middle of January, so I can get some riding in too. Hopefully this winter won't suck like last year.


'later...

[bartron]

Just speaking as someone who's been a tourist there, the sheer volume of eye candy in downtown Montreal on any given night is astounding.

You're absolutely right, no arguments there.

Maybe none of them are right for a relationship...

That's the key. And it's not just a relationship, but also someone who wants to live the kind of lifestyle that I would be interested in living. Beauty isn't at the top on my list -- never has been and never will be. However, it is on the list.

I've got to say that if you think you have to move from a city the size of Montreal to find a girl...

I certainly don't think that. Boulder, CO is much smaller than Montreal, yet I'd love to live there. Almost took off there for a few days a couple of weeks ago during my vacation.


'later...

[bobdea]

damn dude, what are you looking for?
Do canadian girls fail some sort of test or something?

Tonja, you're kicking ass, good luck with those dates.

[ncermak]

I can recommend Calgary. Great snow, great people, and according to my other half, the girls here are pretty good too.

I heard the only good one was taken!

[Allee]

I heard the only good one was taken!

Ooohh, Noah, you talk GAME.

Bartron, look me up if you come over in Jan. We're at the hill most weekends ...

[carvedog]

Ooohh, Noah, you talk GAME.

Bartron, look me up if you come over in Jan. We're at the hill most weekends ...

Well he is the moderator of the OT: waaaaaaaay OT thread. And doing a damn fine job by the way.

[Michelle]

Damn straight ! Interesting note: all my male friends and I feel the same way as you, but all my female friends think guys would prefer the disco hottie. That's gotta be the media's fault !

'later...

Because it's true. Half the time guys won't even talk to a girl at a bar, party, social gathering if they do not have the body of a super model, no matter how smart, funny, interesting, positive vibes you put out, or what kind of lifestyle you lead.

One thing I can't stand is if you are talking to someone, and they are always looking behind you at what else is going on, instead of AT you. They're always scoping. Maybe I'm not as interesting as I think I am

[Gecko]

Because it's true. Half the time guys won't even talk to a girl at a bar, party, social gathering if they do not have the body of a super model, no matter how smart, funny, interesting, positive vibes you put out, or what kind of lifestyle you lead.

One thing I can't stand is if you are talking to someone, and they are always looking behind you at what else is going on, instead of AT you. They're always scoping. Maybe I'm not as interesting as I think I am

Ok I am so not a "body of a supermodel" kind of guy...they are just too damn skinny and in truth usually pretty boring. I had some odd girlfriends (one wore a mohawk) but they were all personallity types (even my wife) as I really needed someone who would do all the crazy things that I like to do, snowboard (she ski's), rock climb (she likes to), skateboard (ok so I haven't gotten this one yet) Motorcycle (she loves to) Hike (we have fun in the woods You are better off looking for someone who enjoys doing the things you enjoy doing...than barhopping for the supermodel who's gonna probably not let you do those things you so enjoy

[Michelle]

You are better off looking for someone who enjoys doing the things you enjoy doing...than barhopping for the supermodel who's gonna probably not let you do those things you so enjoy

Oh, I think we are all in agreeance with that statement. I'm just saying that good intentions abound, but the reality is not the same. It's a known fact that the MAJORITY of men do this, whether they want to admit it or not. Women are the same. I definitely think personality rules, but first meetings and how you meet people (in what kind of setting) is important. If you can't meet someone, how do you get to know their personality?

What I'm saying is that MOST people don't give their opposite sex the time of day unless they are cute/handsome in large social situations. Physical attraction is usually what gets people talking, or alcohol.

[Gecko]

Physical attraction is usually what gets people talking, or alcohol.

there is something to be said for alcohol (says he who could drink his senior year of HS) a few bottles of red wine were how I ended up playing chess on New Years Eve with a beautiful (now Air Force Officer) woman...or for that matter why I still keep a cribbage board (or 4) around the house

[skatha]

Well.....as a doc, I work with women, married men, and cute, but gay, guys....
So...I turned to a dating service....
and met Sam, who, as an architect, worked mainly with other men and married secretaries....

we got matched because of outdoor interests and spent a few months talking on the phone prior to meeting.....

[Mike T]

What I'm saying is that MOST people don't give their opposite sex the time of day unless they are cute/handsome in large social situations. Physical attraction is usually what gets people talking, or alcohol.

Well, yeah, large social situations imply lots of people and how else are you going to decide which 5 people out of 100 you want to talk to???

FWIW, I gave up on trying to find dates at large social gatherings after my freshman year in college. Very low success rate and frustratingly awkward. I just drank with my buddies.

I wound up marrying someone I once worked with.

If I were single today, I'd guess my most likely place to meet someone relationship-worthy would be on the chairlift. Small setting, good chance of shared interests, and since I ride at a resort that is more than half locals, good chance of geographical compatibility. I'm sure this works a lot better for a Bend local @ Mt. Bachelor than it does for a CO local at Copper though...

[Michelle]

beautiful

Key word here. In what way? (giving you the benefit)

[Neil Gendzwill]

I read a statistic somewhere that a very high percentage of married people were introduced to their spouse by a friend, or at least had common friends. I met my wife because she worked at the same company as several of my friends and we kept running into each other at company bar nights and the like. So though I met her in a bar, I don't think of it that way.

And BTW it wasn't her looks that immediately attracted me (although she looks fine), it was the fact that she was jumping higher than anyone else on the dance floor.

[skatha]

That's what matchmakers were for....they matched people for compatibility and not necessarily for looks.....

I wonder how'd the divorce rate would be if people relied on an objective third party than looks....
looks fade and as Ron White said "Yew can't fix stupid"
Plus, my feeling is that, although guys are very visual, they focus less on looks once they have an emotional link to a woman

[Neil Gendzwill]

I wonder how'd the divorce rate would be if people relied on an objective third party than looks....

I wonder how the divorce rate would be if people took their vows seriously and really tried to make things work, instead of looking ahead to the next fairy tale.

[Gecko]

Key word here. In what way? (giving you the benefit)

well in this case I am refering to what she matured into...and that is a beautiful WOMAN not a little girl. Come on now a woman who will sit down drink red wine and play chess in a greenhouse during a raging New Years Eve party? I call that Beautiful...well I do remember that she had nice green eyes too

[Allee]

Most of us are not good at this. I've got better, I used to hate them.

I used to go out with a good friend of mine (now shacked up, so we hardly ever go out any more), and while she's relatively good looking and in good shape, she's certainly not a supermodel. She is a man magnet. How does she do that?

She's confident. She wears her best set of look-great jeans, strolls up to the bar like she owns it, dazzles the bartender with her best smile, flirts madly with the first man who crosses her path, and then gets mobbed. She's amazing. I have learned an awful lot from watcheing her work ...

Moral of the story ... you don't have to be a stunning looker, if you can project your personailty. Hiding in a corner, nobody wil notice you, even if you're a best looking girl in the room... and if you won't give a guy the come on, why would he walk over and talk to you?