OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[D-Sub]

the more gay guys the better. more chicks for us straight fellers.

[dantheman0177]

I know nobody has the time (or probably the care factor) to work it out, but it would be a very interesting thing to see how many different topics we have covered in this single thread.


"I've created a monster
Cos nobody wantsta
See carving no more
They want Aisling I'm chopped liver
So if ya want Aisling
This is what I'll give ya
A little bit of OT
Mixed with some hard liquor...

...na na na na na, na na na na na, na na na na na, na na na naaaa....."

[Aisling]

i'm chopped liver? i'm so confused. LOL

[Randy S.]

MMMmmmmm, I love chopped liver.

Woops, better not go there.


"What am I...Chopped Livah?"

[dantheman0177]

i'm chopped liver? i'm so confused. LOL

Sorry, my friends will tell you that I have a strange habbit of quoting rather obscure song lyrics. That is from Eminem (and about the only lines of his I know) just altered a little for the purpose.

Eminem - Without Me

[ncermak]

ok dan.

by my count:

Men being )&^$*^%*s
Women being psychotic.
a potential Rusty Aisling Hook up
several jokes about men
several jokes about women
biological clocks
bi sexual women
Michelle and Aisling road trip to Australia
SES Dating game
gas staion behavior
why Aisling and Noah never snowboarded together
Randy's Match.com endorsement
erectile dysfunction (from biking)
who wears the pants
NO means No
sex toys
virginity
lots of leg humping
generations of carvers
what is cool?
video games
White Trash
TV Shows
D-Subs Birthday
Shaving
dating (evry now and then)
For the record...Dan has Officially hit on every woman in this thread...(damn. He must be hard up!)
Tatoos
80's music
Beer
Foreigner drinking habits
Phil Fell's sexuality (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I think that about sums it up...
what a productive morning
-NOAH

[Michelle]

Noah

You definitely have WAAAAAAAY too much time on your hands (not that there's anything wrong with that). But nice rehash!

[D-Sub]

For the record...Dan has Officially hit on every woman in this thread...
-NOAH

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

[Aisling]

LOL... Noah... you definitely have way too much time on your hands... but we should remedy the lack of riding together. i promise i won't hit on you in front of your girlfriend.

[bobdea]

I hear she cracks the whip on him

[dantheman0177]

For the record...Dan has Officially hit on every woman in this thread...(damn. He must be hard up!)

Not EVERY woman....just Michelle and Aisling!!!

By saying I am hard up, are you suggesting that they wouldn't be good catches??? Hmmmm, I wonder what they would think of that???

But since I am half way around the world, I figure I can do what the heck I like and get away with it.

[ncermak]

dan...you also hit on ski puppy...

Bob...don't believe a word of what fleck tells you. there is no whip being cracked. But I do cut into my time on snow alittle for her.

And Ais...we definitely ride this year. Are you hardbooting yet? if not...you will be when I'm done with you...

-NBC

[Randy S.]

And Ais...we definitely ride this year. Are you hardbooting yet? if not...you will be when I'm done with you...

-NBC

Noah, have you gone soft yet? if not...you will have when I'm done with you...

[Michelle]

Why Are Men Happier?

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can
never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear
NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think
of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your
chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One
mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know
stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone
forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is
$8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play
with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet
and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter
how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have
freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping
for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


If this is why men are happy, no wonder we can't figure them out.

[kjl]

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear
NO shirt to a water park.

So can you!

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

Get a Travel Mate

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Heh, I don't think you do either, Michelle

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

You should go ahead and put your eyes down there - easier for both of us.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

What is this thing you call "shave"?

You can play with toys all your life.

If you play with Transformers I will marry you.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

I don't

[Aisling]

dan...you also hit on ski puppy...

Bob...don't believe a word of what fleck tells you. there is no whip being cracked. But I do cut into my time on snow alittle for her.

And Ais...we definitely ride this year. Are you hardbooting yet? if not...you will be when I'm done with you...

-NBC

No, Noah, i am not hardbooting yet... in fact.. because i didn't get to ride much last year i feel like i need training wheels for this season... anyone want to help me remember how to freaking make a clean heelside? :-p

[Aisling]

randy... not nice to put words in other people's mouths. shame shame

[Aisling]

Why Are Men Happier?

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can
never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear
NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think
of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your
chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One
mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know
stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone
forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is
$8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play
with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet
and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter
how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have
freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping
for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


If this is why men are happy, no wonder we can't figure them out.

Michelle i've seen this before and it makes me laugh every time... when i was a lil kid my moms was telling me about the 'facts of life' and she mentioned that thing we have to deal with monthly... so i asked if boys had this particular issue... she said no... they have their own changes...
lil me: 'but they don't bleed?'
moms: ' uh.. no...'
lil me: ' i wanna be a boy!!!!'
moms: 'too late darlin... order is in.'

[dantheman0177]

Noah,

Damnit, you caught me out!!!

[scotts.Scheinman]

cant let the thread die!

[bobdea]

No, Noah, i am not hardbooting yet... in fact.. because i didn't get to ride much last year i feel like i need training wheels for this season... anyone want to help me remember how to freaking make a clean heelside? :-p

and I will ride with you, might be able to help or not depends on a few factors
I got a set up if you do want to ride plates as well
some minor adjustments can make softy heelsides alot easier

I have not been out on soft gear yet this year, maybe I will have a soft free year, it will be my first.

[ncermak]

maybe I will have a soft free year, it will be my first.

looks like someone's got a new handle

[bobdea]

is there a way to change you user name on here?

[Gleb]

damn its still going.

Soft free year? damn that'd be intense. Would defintly take getting used to.

you'd be prone to shots like this:

[Aisling]

what the!?!?!?! good lord.

thanks bob for the offer... where you riding these days?

[Gleb]

She's hitting back!

[Gleb]

noooooooooo!!!!

[Sinecure]

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink
and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of
strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

[Gleb]

If men truly ran the world . . .

2. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em next time" would pretty much do it.
3. Birth control would come in ale or lager.
4. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
5. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
6. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
7. Garbage would take itself out.
8. Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
9. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
10. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
11. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
12. Two words..."Ally McNaked".
13. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
    Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
    You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
    Cop: "Nice one, That's $10.00 off".
14. People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
15. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.
16. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
17. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
18. It would perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
19. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".
20. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
21. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".
22. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
23. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
24. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
25. Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
26. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
    

[Sinecure]

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot..

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work. The bird looked at him and said,

"Hi, Keith!"


*********************************


On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one
wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!
Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own
peril. They all stare, eyes riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a cowboy from Wyoming stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: well built, with dark hair and blue
eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time. No one moves. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest.



She gasps . . . He whispers. . .






"Iron this. Then get me a beer."