OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[C5 Golfer]

This is no religious statement - just a joke so CHILL!

The Accident

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."


MORAL OF THE STORY:

Women are evil

Don't mess with them.

[skipuppy]

THATS RIGHT BIATCH!!!!!! What a smart woman. We rule!

[D-Sub]

ahahahahhahaha! you see that as...oh man...thats hilarious!

[skipuppy]

You know, there is nothing wrong having fun with guys and ****ing around with them every now and then. Good thing I took myself out of the dating pool several weeks ago. I realized that somehow, I was doing the cuddling and hugs and smiles and deep intellectual conversations and then they wanted to get into long relationships!!! After the third guy I realized I must be doing something wrong.

Solution: When I meet a new guy I tell them that I am emotionally dead and incapable of returning any feelings. I am only interested in a platonic relationship (ie- I get to cuddle and take naps with the person and they get to love me like a cute person not some chick who would be great without her clothes on) and hope that works for them.

Results: Since the switch to platonic relationships I have been able to particepate in communal napping , late nights out, hanging and chilling, making disgusting sexual jokes, and wrestling on beds.

Reaction: After hearing my new life change somebody said "Oh yeah, I forgot you were young." Ironically, this person is only a year older than me. Whatever man. I love being loved and playing around in the innocent and cute sense. I do mind-**** but they know it and they do it back at me. It is awesome. This is what friendships should be like, atleast in my opinion. Mutually loving, playful, bluntly honest, and cuddly.

*Rant End*

[dantheman0177]

Please do us all a favour here at BOL and let us guys know when you ARE back in the dating pool. Somehow I think there would be quite a few interested suitors.

[D-Sub]

are you kidding? honestly it sounds like theres a LOT of "man hate" flowing here...and this one acts as though sexuality is "icky"

sure, I like goofin off with girls, and I personally cant stand the "clingy" thing, but...I certainly dont want to have it implied that Im somehow sick or something because I want to you know what.

sorry skipuppy, thats just how your post sounded, like "boys" are "yucky" but you want all the cuddly stuff

[Randy S.]

Hey D-Sub. She's 18! Hell, I was 18 before I lost my virginity (hmm, there's a thought for a new poll). Cut her some slack. She'll meet some guy and want to hook up eventually.

Skipuppy. Welcome to leghumping central. Its the same at any board that's populated predominantly by men. And this thread has become a safe zone for leghumpers here on BOL.

Oh, and those guys who are cuddling, napping and wrestling with you. The only thing they are thinking about is sex when that is going on. You probably already knew this, but I figured I should enlighten you if not. If the platonic approach works for you, go for it. Guys may call you a tease, but that's their problem, not yours.

Randy

[D-Sub]

didnt look at her age...

I aint no leg humper, and I dont flirt with girls on websites.

that "tease" thing is a gray area, but yeah..heh..those guys are likely sportin at least semiwood when doin all this rasslin and cuddlin.

[skipuppy]

FYI- merely because someone does not wish to be in a physical relationship does not mean that they have never been in one before. Nor should one assume that this person was in a bad or lacking physical relationship either. It could simply be that the person was an ******* when drunk, did not know how to respect me, and crossed the line quite a few times. This in no way leads to me thinking that sex is icky. Don't be so shallow to jump to that conclusion.

Regarding the guys who just can't stop thinking about sex and teasing. I have been blunt with them about what to expect. They can think about whatever they want I don't care. I would be a tease if I did not tell them that I was not interested in anything physical and just wanted to cuddle. But I do.

[D-Sub]

just stickin up for the fellas, girl. lots of man bashing goin on...

couch session over. back to snowboard related topics on a snowboard related website

[big mario]

Amen brother

[Steve Dold]

Girls that tell us they aren't interested in sex are like a guy going on to a car lot telling a salesman he's not ready to buy, he's only looking. Did you know that 30% of these guys end up driving home in a new car?

[Randy S.]

Girls that tell us they aren't interested in sex are like a guy going on to a car lot telling a salesman he's not ready to buy, he's only looking. Did you know that 30% of these guys end up driving home in a new car?

Steve, so "No" really means "Yes?" Hmmm. I think there are people who have used that argument yet still did jail time. Just a thought.

[ncermak]

men not looking for sex are like men going to the car lot...

[Michelle]

Girls that tell us they aren't interested in sex are like a guy going on to a car lot telling a salesman he's not ready to buy, he's only looking. Did you know that 30% of these guys end up driving home in a new car?

Girls that say they are not interested in sex are LYING !! I understand that there have been bad experiences and there are lots of guys who are hurtful and disrespectful, but girls are interested in sex with the right guy at the right time. We are just more careful about who we take our clothes off with We also think about it too, just not every single second of every single day. Again, right person, right time. When everything is right - trust, honesty, emotions, and physical attraction then sex is one of the best things given to mankind This doesn't necessarily mean you are in love or lust or any of the above, it could just mean that everything is right for both parties at that time. Skipuppy, I agree. As long as both parties know all the facts up front, there's nothing wrong with cuddlin' and smoochin' - Thankfully!!! Life would certainly be boring without it.....

[Michelle]

Steve, so "No" really means "Yes?" Hmmm. I think there are people who have used that argument yet still did jail time. Just a thought.

Randy, you misunderstand. No definitely means NO - not every situation is right. Don't ever make that mistake.

[Randy S.]

Randy, you misunderstand. No definitely means NO - not every situation is right. Don't ever make that mistake.

Aren't we making the same point. I said to Steve that if you interpret "No" to mean "yes" you could go to jail. No means no, regardless of the age of the participants.

The only time no doesn't mean no is in a role-play situation where the only thing that means no is whatever safe word you've agreed to in advance. Not that I have any experience with safe-words and role playing. Oh, and I don't mean role playing like in online RPGs, I mean where you need this kind of Safe Word.

[Michelle]

I mean where you need this kind of Safe Word.

Not that you would know anything about that..


Glad to hear we are on the same page.

[Mike T]

-snip-

We also think about it too, just not every single second of every single day.

-snip-

LOL- I can assure you that I spend WAY more time thinking about snowboarding than I do thinking about sex!

[Michelle]

LOL- I can assure you that I spend WAY more time thinking about snowboarding than I do thinking about sex!

Well Mike, not sure if that's good or bad......

[Steve Dold]

Steve, so "No" really means "Yes?" Hmmm. I think there are people who have used that argument yet still did jail time. Just a thought.

Not exactly, when I hear "no" it usually means "ask me later, after I see what my other options are." I wasn't talking about date rape or anything like that.

Michelle: I think Mike's married. Being married is kind of like having your own gas station that has free gas, right in your front yard. Does that make sense?

[Mike T]

Yep, Steve is right, I'm married, and very happily so. (Don't shoot me - I probably shouldn't even be posting on this thread!) Combine that with the fact that it's been almost 7 months since I went snowboarding... and it's completely naturual that I ewould think WAY more about snowboarding

[Randy S.]

Hmmmm. I probably think about sex more than snowboarding (maybe not at this time of year). However, I maintain that riding a huge powder bowl is way better than sex.

[dantheman0177]

Again, right person, right time. When everything is right - trust, honesty, emotions, and physical attraction then sex is one of the best things given to mankind This doesn't necessarily mean you are in love or lust or any of the above, it could just mean that everything is right for both parties at that time.

Michelle, are you telling us you are NOT a virgin??? Oh my goodness, all my allusions have been shattered!!!

[Randy S.]

This is OT, but funny. This is apparently the men's room at the new Sofitel in Queenstown, NZ.

[RDY_2_Carve]

The future of women's hardboot snowboarding:

[skipuppy]

What does OT stand for? (PS- very cute girl^)

[ncermak]

Off Topic...as in this is not a snowboarding thread...

[Gecko]

Hey D-Sub. She's 18! Hell, I was 18 before I lost my virginity (hmm, there's a thought for a new poll). Cut her some slack. She'll meet some guy and want to hook up eventually.

OK now I feel really old I'd lost my viginity 4 years before she was even born...hell I'd already failed out of 1 college before she was born

[C5 Golfer]

Weak joke but it is all I got.

DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the

bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with

a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again.

The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down

and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is

most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried.
"$150
just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20.
But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."