OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[D-Sub]

HURRY UP THE CAKES!!!!

what tha heck? never seen that one.

you have no choice, make your time, eh?

[dantheman0177]

what contest?

Look back a few pages. You will find Michelle and I were having a banter about a potential contest for SES to well and truly eclipse "Snowboard History Jeopardy" (not that that wasn't pretty cool)

[kjl]

you have no choice, make your time, eh?

All your base...

Lots of great Engrish to be found at engrish.com. Plus, they have a great t-shirt selection at their online store, including

• the "I spilled some milk on the table. OH MY GOD!" shirt,
• the "All yellow? Or flecked with brown?",
• the "Calm down monkey / You look happy today / A little say anything / What's that smell?" shirt, and my favorite,
• the "I hate my self and I want to die" shirt.

Ha ha! I love it.

[kjl]

Ken, so I guess you don't have much use for the Razorba Back Hair Shaver eh?

Dude... I...
Dude.

Looks like a recipe for shredded back carpaccio to me.

[Michelle]

Ken, so I guess you don't have much use for the Razorba Back Hair Shaver eh?

Pic:

I could have gone my whole life without knowing that existed. Pretty disgusting if you ask me.

Man, why don't you silly white guys just be asian like me? Water, swipe chin, chin, lip, lip, water; done in 5 seconds

Ken, that's hilarious!

[Gleb]

I could have gone my whole life without knowing that existed. Pretty disgusting if you ask me.

I dunno, thats kinda nifty

[dantheman0177]

I could have gone my whole life without knowing that existed. Pretty disgusting if you ask me.

And I will go the rest of my life thanking God that I don't have to find out how disgusting that truly is!

[D-Sub]

I could have gone my whole life without knowing that existed. Pretty disgusting if you ask me

michelle...why disgusting? why moreso than you shaving your legs or pits? these days, it seems as though a guy having hair anywhere but his head is somehow "gross"

so, in an effort to conform to yet another unrealistic societal expectation, guys shave, wax, whatever...

honestly _that_ is more disgusting than the shaver thing...dont you think?

[dantheman0177]

It goes back to the whole testosterone level thing I guess.

But moving right along from that, did you guys hear about the research that suggests that a male's intelligence is inversely proportional to the size of his testicles? Seriously, somebody studied vampire bats and discovered that the female bat has such a massive sex drive that the male of the species has developed massive testicles, but at the expense of the size of their brains. Then somehow they extrapolated that to humans.

So now it seems it is not such a bad thing to be thick. Act dumb boys, it will help you pick up chicks!

[D-Sub]

It goes back to the whole testosterone level thing I guess.

more testosterone = more or less hair?

[kjl]

A great episode of This American Life on Testosterone.

[dantheman0177]

more testosterone = more or less hair?

As men get older generally they develop more testosterone at the same time that gravity begins to drag down previously "hard and high" areas of the body. Since these drop towards the lower reaches of the body, the testosterone, which has a lower density than the balance of the body, has to go somewhere, so it tends to be pushed out against the force of gravity and ooze out the head. This of course forces the hair on top of the head to push out of the scalp and so what we commonly know as baldness begins to set in. The problem is that there are a pre-determined number of hair producing cells in the male species so these have to be utilised elsewhere, but at points of lesser resistance. The hair making cells get pushed up the body by the dropping parts, but are denser than the testosterone, so cannot quite make it to the head, hence the propensity towards hain sprouting on shoulders, back, butt-crack, etc.

Or at least, that's my version and I'm sticking to it!

Short story, more testosterone, more body hair, less head hair.

[Randy S.]

Short story, more testosterone, more body hair, less head hair.

I must have a lot of testosterone these days.

Wax on...wax off.

I haven't brought myself to waxing my butt yet. Anyone tried that, as long as we're on gross-out subjects?

[Galen]

more testosterone = more or less hair?

Baldness(the common kind, not something related to a conditon) is associated with normal to above normal levels of testosterone. The association between baldness and testosterone was first noticed by a doctor who was studying twins. He was interviewing a set twins, the first was bald. the other one was in an asylum and had been castrated, pretty common for the times. He was suprised when he visited the one in the asylum and he had a full head of hair. I think I'll keep the nads, and continue to shave what's left of the hair on my head

[NMU Alpine Boarder]

I must have a lot of testosterone these days.

Wax on...wax off.

I haven't brought myself to waxing my butt yet. Anyone tried that, as long as we're on gross-out subjects?

** Enters thread **

** Reads **

** Shakes head **

** leaves thread **

[philfell]

I think we've gotten off topic of the off topic thread. Right now there is way too much talk about male body hair, testies, and dudes in general.

Please lets return back to the ladies talking about their dating mishaps.


So maybe this story will return the thread back on topic. Last night some of us went out to watch the Metal Gods again (this was their 169 consecutive Thursday playing at a bar in SLC). At the end of the night we found ourselves at a table in the middle of a bachlorette party, but our friend G-spot was no where to be found so we sent out a seach for him. He was no where to be found, we thought he went home with a "big boned" lady he was talking to. Right when we were about to leave we spotted him in the corner making out with said lady. So we hung back to see how things played out. We sent Ausie Chaz over to tell him if he wanted we could leave then pick him up in the morning. At about this same time the bachlorette party was breaking up and these ladies ask why we hadn't left because we said we were going to leave a while ago. So Brody tells the actual bachlorette to "look over there, see that guy making out with that fat chick...." Bachlortte gets really mad and says "she's my sister, and she isn't fat she just has big boobs so she looks bigger than she is" So the downward spiral for G-spot starts, after what Brody said there is now way for a take-me-home. Bachlorette says there is no why the fat girl is leaving with our friend after just meeting him they can exchange numbers but that's all, because fat girl has to go home to see her 2 year old kid. It was such a classic train wreck.

This is a true story, but the names have been change to protect the innocent.

[Michelle]

Phil, I think you are taking some liberties here. There is no way that's true. Oh how I miss the big city.....

[philfell]

No liberties taken Michelle, I swear. Like I said I changed the names of the main characters but the story is true.

So back with the stories from the ladies of carving..............

[Michelle]

This lady of carving will have no more to do with any relationship ever again. They always suck, and not in the good way.

[skipuppy]

So far I have left a path of destruction behind me as far as dating is concerned. After "hanging out" with a few guys at school (and by hanging out I mean hanging out and going fun places and having wonderful convos) I kept on getting these guys interested in me AND looking for long term relationships!!! What is wrong with them??? This is college right? You aren't supposed to be after a long term relationship in college!!!

After they get attached I naturally leave them alone- don't want to cause more pain by staying around and continuing to make them feel special. After the third guy I officially took myself out of the dating pool and starting giving disclaimers (which I had actually done with the first three anyway- you know the whole, "oh I just got out of a bad relationship" thing). My disclaimers now include the bad relationship, out of the dating pool and sex drive of a nun. Not saying all of them are true but atleast it doesn't lead to raised expectations and I don't have to disappoint people.

So thats my gig. Maybe I will get into a relationship next year. But for now... life is fun

[philfell]

This lady of carving will have no more to do with any relationship ever again. They always suck, and not in the good way.

Do I need to make a special x-mas visit? It sounds like you need a little pick me up.

[Michelle]

You would do that for little ol' me??? But only if you wear that outfit in your advatar. Although it looks like Bordy

Holidays suck! Sorry guys, but there are few guys out there that ruin it for all of you.


Ever hurt someone just because you know you can? Guys? Ladies?

[dantheman0177]

Ever hurt someone just because you know you can? Guys? Ladies?

Although I will preface this by saying that, categorically, my answer is no, this question could lead somewhere BAD.

[philfell]

Michelle for you I would come up with an outfit that would be much more styln' than my avitar pic, any goof-ball can put on a bra and pose. I'd make things special.

To answer your question, no I've never hurt any just because. Well on time as a kid I hit my friend in the face with a snowball, he started crying and I felt bad.

[Michelle]

Better than the white trash party one??? So when did you say you were coming? Now you're going to make me blush...... just don't hit me in the face with a snowball, because I'm likely to cry too ....

[skipuppy]

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided
I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and
threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great
fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a
girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced
me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

[Neil Gendzwill]

Oldie but goodie:

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and.......then he married the one with the biggest tits.

[Jon Dahl]

You obviously have forgotten about gravity. Find the one with the smallest breasts, or in the case of you girls, belly. Everything will go downhill with time, and the smaller deficit you start with, the better!

[dantheman0177]

You obviously have forgotten about gravity. Find the one with the smallest breasts, or in the case of you girls, belly. Everything will go downhill with time, and the smaller deficit you start with, the better!

Nah, I know it doesn't apply for guys bellies, but for the girls there is always the option of a little medically enhanced lift at a later stage.

[skipuppy]

Or you could just get really rich and buy yourself a newer and younger wife when the current one starts to sag a bit.

(And in my case, several years ago when I was planning on being a hotel tycoon I was just going to have multiple boy toys- you know, from exotic places)