OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[Michelle]

Michelle, are you telling us you are NOT a virgin??? Oh my goodness, all my allusions have been shattered!!!

Nope, just what my "going-straight-to-hell" friends have told me. I'm an angel

[Michelle]

Not exactly, when I hear "no" it usually means "ask me later, after I see what my other options are." I wasn't talking about date rape or anything like that.

Once again STeve, Can't imagine why you are still single

Here's a little man bashing for you guys:

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

[Jon Dahl]

both my grandkids are older than that! I'm almost to the 3rd gen. of carver training. And Michelle, that's a good one!

[D-Sub]

This is OT, but funny. This is apparently the men's room at the new Sofitel in Queenstown, NZ.

HA! that might put me off a bit!

[D-Sub]

Michelle, all my allusions have been shattered!!!

all your indirect references have been shattered?

[dantheman0177]

all your indirect references have been shattered?

Yep, as opposed to illusions which would never have been there in the first place. I thought long and hard about that spelling. Perhaps I just should have used a different word

[D-Sub]

Yep, as opposed to illusions which would never have been there in the first place. I thought long and hard about that spelling. Perhaps I just should have used a different word

ahahahahhaah! why am I surprised that someone didnt just mis-spell a word, but instead knew exactly what they were doing?

apologies, my friend. I understimate people lately because there's so much bad spelling, bad gramm"e"r, etc.

there, their, they're alone damn near drives me nuts!

[dantheman0177]

Oh come now, their they're, it's going to be alright.

[Michelle]

Talk about OT.....

Speaking of cute boys.....

[Jack Michaud]

Fin, I'm thinking this thread needs to be moved into the new "bra and panties pillow fight" forum.

[Erik J]

I have nothing to add. I just wanted to be a part of the biggest bomber thread ever.

[skipuppy]

I am ALWAYS down for a pillow fight. after a hard days snowboarding though

[ncermak]

and I thought Phil said he was stopping by the shop. that looks more like a bar than the Bomber factory...

[philfell]

Damn, Billy really makes me look good.

p.s. All you leg humpers missed the ladies' Birthday. Shame on you all.

[Randy S.]

I can't believe this thread dropped off the front page. The season must be upon us!

Anyway, I had to post this. Women get all the cool gizmos. Check out this freaking thing. You hook it up to your iPod and it vibrates in time to your music. Next time you see a girl on the train smiling while listening to her iPod, think twice and look for an extra set of wires!

Here's what it looks like:


Here's a link to the article about it (in the UK).

[Allee]

... to get me an Ipod!

I love how they keep "coming" up with things to make our lives better.

[dantheman0177]

Now THAT'S some music worth downloading!

[ncermak]

any volunteers in here for the Stoked women of carving calender? could be god...Marketing!


(had to come up with something to keep the thread alive...

[pm_wizard]

I couldn't resist the prolonging of this thread..... I hope this doesn't offend!

John

The professor told his class one day:

"Today we will experiment with a new form called tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will email your partner that paragraph and send a copy to me."

"The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent."

"There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the emails and anything you wish to say must be written in the email. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.


THE STORY
(first paragraph by Rebecca)


At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt that she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.


(second paragraph by Gary)


Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A. S. Harris to Geostation 17." he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


(Rebecca)


He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. So afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.


(gary)


Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor of the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.


(Rebecca)


This is absurb. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.


(Gary)


Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F---KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm just an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"


(Rebecca)

******* !

(Gary)

Bitch !!

(Rebecca)

F--K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL !!!

(Gary)

Go have a cup of tea - whore.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.

[carvedog]

any volunteers in here for the Stoked women of carving calender? could be god...Marketing!


(had to come up with something to keep the thread alive...

Being a professional photographer I will donate my time as long as all proceeds go to bomber legal defense fund or other appropriate pro carving organization.

Jerry


Good or God or god?????

[Aisling]

i'll do it

[Michelle]

Heck yeah, I'm in!

[wavechaser]

...wow, take the summer off of Bomber posting to do some kayak racing and come back to find you all went OT craaaaazzeeee with this topic. But man there is some intersting stuff here. You girls are brave putting it all out there - but I'll bet you're learning a lot, as are we (well, some of us). Michelle, I gotta tell ya, I'm 43 and feel exactly like you do sometimes...I just keep it at bay by working and dedicating myself to competitive sports. It's mainly the down time in between the sailing/kayak racing and the snowboard racing seasons that I get to think about the fact I'm still single. I do meet women with similar interests at events but they are WAY in the minority compared to the guys and usually taken - too bad, some good ones there. Can't bring myself to post on match.com or wherever...don't know if it's pride, stupidity, fear...all three? I do have a really great female "friend"...but she lives in San Diego, and neither of us want to move from where we are...oh well. Best of luck to you...if I'm ever in Colorado?!?!

[skipuppy]

My mission this season: Make alpine carving the most orgasmic thing people have seen on the slopes. Make it sexy and cool. Get more people inspired and motivated. I want more young people in it too. That is the only way it will grow.

How: Looking like any normal female snowboarder and blowing right past all the guys. There is a lot more power of persuasion from the opposite sex than you think Especially if you are cute girlie

Problem: From us young snowboarder people: ski boots have always been dorky. Is there any way we can make them look cool??

[kjl]

Problem: From us young snowboarder people: ski boots have always been dorky. Is there any way we can make them look cool??

Remember, as my signature says: Optimus Prime is a hardbooter

I always meant to put the TD and TD2 in there, too... hmm.

[kjl]

Here's one for bindings

[Dan]

Here's one for bindings

Ken, that's awesome.

[skipuppy]

I definitely agree with the second set. First set.... I dunno if a younger crowd would agree but I've also got no anime or robo-cop experience.

[dantheman0177]

I've also got no anime or robo-cop experience.

Not necessarily a bad thing!

BUt you are on the right track. Believe me, if I saw a cute girl carve past me, I'd be pretty impressed (unless I was a park rat, in which case, you wouldn't be carving there, and you probably wouldn't want to bother with the conversion in the first place).

[Randy S.]

I love Puppy's idea.

Ken, you need to take a good pic of a pair of hardboots and photochop them into some cool Gen-whateveryouare graphic. That'd be awesome. Then we print it on vinyl stickers and affix it to our boots. Cool! Boot Skinz. Bring it on. I know you must have mad photoshop skillz.