OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[Michelle]

Don't the fate of men and women everywhere depend on this thread???

[Randy S.]

Don't the fate of men and women everywhere depend on this thread???

Certainly men and women from coast to coast!

[Aisling]

you guys slay me. hahaha

my monster lives.... rotflmao

[C5 Golfer]

Once upon a time,
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
~~~~~~~~
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat,
~~~~~~~~
contemplating ecological issues
~~~~~~~~
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
~~~~~~~~
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
~~~~~~~~
and said:" Elegant Lady,
~~~~~~~~
I was once a handsome prince,
~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
~~~~~~~~
and I will turn back
~~~~~~~~
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever
~~~~~~~~
feel grateful and happy doing so. "

~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sautéed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin' think so.

[Aisling]

just looking to bring the baby back to page one.... mwhahaha


so Michelle, any new date stories?

[Michelle]

Nah, I don't like to kiss and tell. But I was at Oktoberfest in Breck this past weekend and not only did I get carded twice, a couple of 20 year olds asked me for my phone number. Must've been the hat I was wearing...... Even old girls need an ego boost sometimes! What about you Aisling?

[Aisling]

haha that's great Michelle my younger brother hates the fact i get carded and he doesn't. LOL he's the baby in the fam and he has more greys than the oldest brother.
me, i get ego boosts every time i do my show, so that's nice for me. i've been on dates but nothing fascinating... ho hum.

lol

[Randy S.]

OK, we've all been eagerly awaiting pictures of Aisling's ass. Well, I've got the exclusive photos. That's right, I hacked into her computer through her Myspace account, burrowed around looking everywhere and finally found this one.


Scroll Down to View




























I bet you didn't expect her to have a hairy ass did you?































Keep scrolling

[ncermak]

Randy...

thats just not right...

and you wonder why you don't friends on the myspace account?

[Randy S.]

Awww. Come on Noah. At least I didn't out her. Although I notice she seems to have removed herself from my list of friends. That wasn't very nice.

[Michelle]

me, i get ego boosts every time i do my show, so that's nice for me. i've been on dates but nothing fascinating... ho hum.

lol

What show? I am obviously missing something here......

I can't believe you have no stories - dates but nothing facinating? What's going on out there on the East Coast?

[Aisling]

randy, email me, we'll talk.

michelle,

apparently boring people are the norm on the east coast... or else psycho crazy people. who knows. though this week i went on a nice one. seemed like a good guy, a little shorter than i, but i endeavour to not let things like that get in the way. it's been awhile since a met a real gentleman like this guy seemed to be.

[Michelle]

Do tell more!!! I could really use a true gentleman in my life - someone who knows what RESPECT means. Summit County guys (not all, this is a General statement) are too busy worrying about how cool they look stoned.

[C5 Golfer]

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's
morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several
members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her
enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of
being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the
town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and several
others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned
and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of
Mildred's house.. walked home.... and left it there all night.
................. Don't ya just love ol George


And you thought this thread was dead!

[Aisling]

i love the fact that people keep resurrecting this zombie thread. LOL

Michelle, all I can say is that this guy was brought up well, with proper manners and was such a gentleman i was taken off guard. i've unfortunately gotten used to rude guys who don't even open doors for women anymore.

[ncermak]

i love the fact that people keep resurrecting this zombie thread. LOL

just to keep you updated...

most replies to thread of all time...

still need about 2000 view to be the most Popular thread of all time!

[C5 Golfer]

Maye this will help in the goal..

The handsome prince announced that a grand ball would be held to which everyone was invited.

Cinderella was excited but her wicked stepmother and the ugly step sisters would not let her go. She was sitting disconsolately amid the ashes when her fairy godmother appeared before her.


"Why are you so sad, Cinderella?"


"Because my stepmother and stepsisters won't let me go to the ball."


"You shall go to the ball, Cinderella. I will provide you with the most beautiful dress and glass slippers, a coach and horses and footmen to attend you."


"Oh, thank you, fairy godmother!" Cinderella happily gushed.


"There is just one condition, Cinderella, and you must listen to it carefully," warned the fairy godmother. "You must be home by midnight because if you are not, on the stroke of midnight your fanny will turn into a melon".


Cinderella accepted this condition and in the twinkling of an eye the promised goodies were before her and she set off for the ball. The ball was as wonderful as she expected. She danced with the handsome prince who only had eyes for her and, when the interval came she went into supper on the arm of the prince and sat opposite him.


The first course was a slice of melon and the sight of this recalled to Cinderella's mind the condition that her fairy godmother had imposed. Cinderella felt sad that she had to go home so early and picked up her knife and fork to start on her slice of melon.


The prince, on the other hand, ignored his knife and fork. He seized the slice of melon in both hands and buried his face in it. He took the flesh into his mouth and slurped over it as he sucked and swallowed the succulent fruit. He did not stop until he had got every drop of goodness from it. He took the rind away from his face and juices were running down his chin.


He said to Cinderella, as he laid the rind aside, "What time do you have to be home?"


"About half past two," she replied.

[ncermak]

I heard that one...in a more crass version...


let me just say that the prince's name was peter peter Pumpkin eater

[skatha]

Maye this will help in the goal..

The handsome prince announced that a grand ball would be held to which everyone was invited.

Cinderella was excited but her wicked stepmother and the ugly step sisters would not let her go. She was sitting disconsolately amid the ashes when her fairy godmother appeared before her.


"Why are you so sad, Cinderella?"


"Because my stepmother and stepsisters won't let me go to the ball."


"You shall go to the ball, Cinderella. I will provide you with the most beautiful dress and glass slippers, a coach and horses and footmen to attend you."


"Oh, thank you, fairy godmother!" Cinderella happily gushed.


"There is just one condition, Cinderella, and you must listen to it carefully," warned the fairy godmother. "You must be home by midnight because if you are not, on the stroke of midnight your fanny will turn into a melon".


Cinderella accepted this condition and in the twinkling of an eye the promised goodies were before her and she set off for the ball. The ball was as wonderful as she expected. She danced with the handsome prince who only had eyes for her and, when the interval came she went into supper on the arm of the prince and sat opposite him.


The first course was a slice of melon and the sight of this recalled to Cinderella's mind the condition that her fairy godmother had imposed. Cinderella felt sad that she had to go home so early and picked up her knife and fork to start on her slice of melon.


The prince, on the other hand, ignored his knife and fork. He seized the slice of melon in both hands and buried his face in it. He took the flesh into his mouth and slurped over it as he sucked and swallowed the succulent fruit. He did not stop until he had got every drop of goodness from it. He took the rind away from his face and juices were running down his chin.


He said to Cinderella, as he laid the rind aside, "What time do you have to be home?"


"About half past two," she replied.

This is not a joke--it's every woman's dream

[C5 Golfer]

I do not write these only post them -- please do not shoot the Messanger.

I believe this maybe a Women's Tool Gift.

[Jon Dahl]

I like melon...

[Aisling]

I heard that one...in a more crass version...


let me just say that the prince's name was peter peter Pumpkin eater

yeah in the other version the faerie says Cinderella's *yoohoo* will turn into a pumpkin. when she doesn't return til 3am, the godmother asks where she was... she said she met a prince who took care of everything...

good ol' peter.

LOL

[Randy S.]

yeah in the other version the faerie says Cinderella's *yoohoo* will turn into a pumpkin.
LOL

This version said the same thing. You just have to know that in British English, the word Fanny refers to a different part of the female anatomy. The Brits get endless chuckles when American women skiers talk about their fanny packs.

[PeterC]

The perfect woman?

[Gecko]

The perfect woman?

DAMN too bad I'm happily married

[C5 Golfer]

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead
sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down,
but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket
towards the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the
theater, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest
dreams, and when he shares his she listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her
place for a nightcap - and stay for breakfast.

They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to
>every
guy you meet?"

"No," she replies.........

"You just happened to catch my eye."

[big mario]

That is just so wrong!!
Bring on the snow, I don't know how much more of this I can take!
mario

[skatha]

The perfect woman?

Hmmmmm,
and how do you know we don't know how to open wine bottles in a similar way?

[Randy S.]

Hmmmmm,
and how do you know we don't know how to open wine bottles in a similar way?

Gotta love a Texas woman. (Something tells me Canadian women can do the same thing with a beer bottle).

[PeterC]

Hmmmmm,
and how do you know we don't know how to open wine bottles in a similar way?

You'd be draped in velvet & have a 10 board quiver....