OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[Gecko]

I wonder how the divorce rate would be if people took their vows seriously and really tried to make things work, instead of looking ahead to the next fairy tale.

Personally it was both mine and my wifes stubborness that saved our marriage from the rough patches we had...the whole til death do us part thing and long term happiness was more important.

[Michelle]

Moral of the story ... you don't have to be a stunning looker, if you can project your personailty. Hiding in a corner, nobody wil notice you, even if you're a best looking girl in the room... and if you won't give a guy the come on, why would he walk over and talk to you?

Good points here! However, I still stand by my theory. The personality projection does not always work. Maybe it just depends on the people you are around, and how much they appreciate certain things.

[Gecko]

part of the problem that you have is that your neighborhood has Hollywood infestation in the winter...too many soulless "Pretty People" go to Colorado in the winter

[D-Sub]

edited. tryin not to be part of the couch session. Im pitiful enough already

[skipuppy]

I wonder how the divorce rate would be if people took their vows seriously and really tried to make things work, instead of looking ahead to the next fairy tale.

Maybe people do take their vows seriously. You also have to allow for things to happen in life though and for those things to influence how a person changes. My parents have been divorced since I was in sixth grade. I LOVE IT. I used to hear them fight on the other side of my bedroom wall late at night. We've had the cops over. They weren't druggies or alcoholics or anything. They just happened to grow so far apart that they couldn't even love each other anymore. My dad is remarried to his high school sweetheart and I love her. My mom isn't remarried (BUT SHE IS AWESOME, WONDERFUL, ENERGETIC, COMPASSIONATE, BEAUTIFUL, ADVENTUROUS, and SPONTANEOUS) and I think we are all the better.

My point to this post is that yes, sometimes people should put more work into marriage... but if that just doesn't work, then you shouldn't stay together and continue hurting each other. My sister and I would be really F-ed up if they had and fortunately for us- we talk to both of our parents and love them completely, and we also UNDERSTAND why things happened the way they did and are great about it.

[skipuppy]

Moral of the story ... you don't have to be a stunning looker, if you can project your personailty. Hiding in a corner, nobody wil notice you, even if you're a best looking girl in the room... and if you won't give a guy the come on, why would he walk over and talk to you?

My experience is that the prettiest girl in a non-intoxicated environment (key here) is less likely to get chatted up because 1) she is intimidating, and 2) she is presumed to already be taken.

What works (IMHO): Confidence. Jokes. Shy smiles. Winks (I got this last one from a seventy year old Republican Politician from Oklahoma) These are awesome openers. Oh, and I almost forgot- TALKING ABOUT SNOWBOARDING

Heheheee. Ok- that last one probably works better for me since I live in a metropolitan area.

[Michelle]

Maybe people do take their vows seriously. You also have to allow for things to happen in life though and for those things to influence how a person changes.
My point to this post is that yes, sometimes people should put more work into marriage... but if that just doesn't work, then you shouldn't stay together and continue hurting each other. My sister and I would be really F-ed up if they had and fortunately for us- we talk to both of our parents and love them completely, and we also UNDERSTAND why things happened the way they did and are great about it.

I completely agree. There are sometimes when people stay in relationships "for the kids", "for our religion", "because we've been together for so long" or whatever reason, but not "because we are still in love with each other". Sometimes people just don't understand the damage they do to their kids staying in a hostile situation such as Tonya describes could have been for her. I've just gotten myself out of 2 relationships where the guy is so unbelievable messed up from his parent's fighting and eventual divorce that they can't even manage to have a frienship with most people. Leads to same patterns of behavior, abuse, and drug addictions (in a LOT of people).

People grow, and unfortunately sometimes they grow in different directions. Life takes you many places and I think people should adapt accordingly, whether it's with your SO or not.

I'm sure I'll get some backlash for this post.

[Michelle]

My experience is that the prettiest girl in a non-intoxicated environment (key here) is less likely to get chatted up because 1) she is intimidating, and 2) she is presumed to already be taken.

OH, so THIS is the problem! Now I understand.

[Allee]

People grow, and unfortunately sometimes they grow in different directions. Life takes you many places and I think people should adapt accordingly, whether it's with your SO or not.

Exactly what happened with me and my ex-husband. By the time we got to 30 it was pretty obvious that our goals for the next 10 years were compeletey diffferent. His running off with one of his co-workers probably saved us five years of angst and heartache,

[Michelle]

Everything happens for a reason.

[Sinecure]

I think that on the whole, people do take their vows very seriously. At the time they make those vows. But as has been pointed out, things change. Sometimes people change. And sometimes people (in my experience it is more often the women in this situation) anticipate that they'll be able to change their partner. That those "minor" issues like reluctance to communicate about emotions and the desire to avoid conflict rather than directly confront and argue/fight through issues are things that really are not likely to change in that person. Eventually those things can drive a sufficient wedge in the relationship that even with great effort and help the gap can not be bridged.

On a related, but lighter note:

A note from a housewife to the makers of Tide Detergent:

Dear Makers of Tide Detergent:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing, led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! G oing through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

[carvedog]

On a related, but lighter note:

A note from a housewife to the makers of Tide Detergent:

Dear Makers of Tide Detergent:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing, led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! G oing through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

[skipuppy]

OH, so THIS is the problem! Now I understand.

You betchya girl!!!!

[Michelle]

Thanks for the enlightenment!

[Aisling]

Well he is the moderator of the OT: waaaaaaaay OT thread. And doing a damn fine job by the way.

Noah's the moderator of my thread? what? LOL

[dantheman0177]

It doesn't seem to matter where in the world people are, the grass always seems to be greener on the other side.

Just last night I was comparing the plight of Michelle (read the last 50 pages if you are not quite sure what I mean) with the plight of my flatmate, Lisa. The similarities are astounding:

Both female
Both lead very active lifestyles (snowboarding, rock climbing, hiking, kayaking, surfing, etc)
Both fit and attractive
Both intelligent and fun to be around
Both with good jobs
Both live in amazing places that, from an independent point of view would seem to be teeming with available men
Both complain that they can't find a guy

I am starting to think that we attached people should send all the unattached people who are worried about finding a partner to some secluded place and they can't leave until they have coupled up. There would be millions of potential mates all in one place. Unfortunately though, Australia is taken so you will have to find somewhere else for this social experiment.

[dantheman0177]

On second thoughts, maybe I would split up with my girl cos this place sounds like one hell of a party!!!

[D-Sub]

Everything happens for a reason.

nonsense. Sorry mich, but nonsense.

[skipuppy]

Dan I thought you just got engaged

[dantheman0177]

Dan I thought you just got engaged

Yeah, I did, but I'm not married yet!!! Don't write me off completely!

[Justin A.]

I guess Im pretty lucky. I met the best girl ever 5 years ago and we hit it off. Im still in love today, its a pretty good deal.

Even if I didn't have her, the odds are stacked STRONGLY in my favor I work at an Express. The only one in the Reigon that doesn't have a mens section as a matter of fact, so on an average day I see and talk to maybe...400 or so nice young ladies. The fact that I have to talk to them to do my job kinda hones my pickupness skills too. Michelle, you should go work at a Mens Store part time and see how that works out for you. Mens Wearhouse would be a good start maybe 5 hours a week or so.
________
COUGAR

[Michelle]

It doesn't seem to matter where in the world people are, the grass always seems to be greener on the other side.

Just last night I was comparing the plight of Michelle (read the last 50 pages if you are not quite sure what I mean) with the plight of my flatmate, Lisa. The similarities are astounding:

Both female
Both lead very active lifestyles (snowboarding, rock climbing, hiking, kayaking, surfing, etc)
Both fit and attractive
Both intelligent and fun to be around
Both with good jobs
Both live in amazing places that, from an independent point of view would seem to be teeming with available men
Both complain that they can't find a guy

I am starting to think that we attached people should send all the unattached people who are worried about finding a partner to some secluded place and they can't leave until they have coupled up. There would be millions of potential mates all in one place. Unfortunately though, Australia is taken so you will have to find somewhere else for this social experiment.

Dan, I love this idea! Some tropical island, where the sun always shines, everyone is in perfect shape, we all eat organic food, and we don't ever have to worry about money. YEP, sounds pretty perfect!

[BlueB]

How about this place?
Athol Das Rockas, the only coral athol in Southern Atlantic, some 100 sea miles east of the "tip" of Brasil.
5 palm treas, old lighthose structure, a shack, sandy beaches, plenty of fish, beautifull turquoise lagoone within the athol... The only inhabitants are few marine biology students who keep an eye on the marine reserve...

On the down side, like on every tropical location, it rains a lot. For no rain, you need to look at sub-tropical lattitudes.

Boris

[Allee]

Dan, I love this idea! Some tropical island, where the sun always shines, everyone is in perfect shape, we all eat organic food, and we don't ever have to worry about money. YEP, sounds pretty perfect!

Isn't this any Hedonism resort?

Or one of those singles cruises ... yikes ...

[Aisling]

speaking of resorts i need a vacation

[Michelle]

Don't take a cruise. Did you see what happened to that cruiseliner yesterday? I just saw it on Today - it almost overturned and there was water everywhere in the boat. Check it out http://msnbc.msn.com/id/13924238/.


Aisling (and any other girls on this thread), we are taking an "all girls" backpacking trip in August to WY. Interested? 5 days in the Wind River Range.

[Gleb]

i was just reading that and very next place i went to was here. Just weird coincidence.

[skatha]

Aisling (and any other girls on this thread), we are taking an "all girls" backpacking trip in August to WY. Interested? 5 days in the Wind River Range.

Jeez, I'd love to be able to go...we spent last summer in WY and drove down to UT past that range. I really wanted to go backcountry there and in the Tetons....

[Michelle]

Beginning of August, try and make it. Should be a really great trip! Just think, all the carver girls in the wilderness.....

[tex1230]

You could name the trip "Carver Girls Gone WIld"

Photographic record will be mandatory